


Once When I Was...

by PattRose



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drunk Fic, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-14
Updated: 2013-07-15
Packaged: 2017-11-03 15:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/382963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens one evening when JIm gets drunk while out with Simon?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Once When  I Was...

Once When I Was... – Patt

 

Once when I was drunk, I finally admitted my feelings to Blair. I know he’ll think it’s because I’m drunk, but it’s true. I love him and I need to tell him all the way home from the bar. 

 

It all started with Simon asking me to go have a couple of drinks with him. See, it started out innocently enough, but before long I had four drinks in me and Simon was talking about calling me a cab. 

 

“Why would you call me a cab, Simon?” I asked. 

 

“Because you’re drunk out of your mind and I for one don’t want to listen anymore about Blair Sandburg.” Simon told me. 

 

“You don’t like Blair?” I asked stupidly. 

 

Simon gave me a look and I was trying to figure out what the look meant as he said, “Of course, I like Sandburg. Who doesn’t? But I don’t want to hear about how you feel about him all night long. This was supposed to be a fun night for us, Jim. Instead, you’re pouring your heart out about your roommate. Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?” 

 

Oh yeah, right, like I could do that. “Simon, he would move. I can’t tell him anything. I’m sorry, I won’t say another word about Blair, I promise.” 

 

Simon decided to take me up on it and asked, “So what do you think of Rhonda’s new boyfriend?” 

 

“Blair said he’s really nice and we all know that Blair knows his people, right?” I asked drunkenly. 

 

“Well he seems to be nice enough; I just hope he treats her well, because I really think the world of Rhonda.” Simon said casually. 

 

“Blair told me that Rhonda is totally in love with him and they’re going to get engaged.” 

 

“How does he know that shit, Jim?” Simon honestly wanted to know. 

 

So I told him. “Blair gets into your life like no other person would ever do and finds out everything, so that he knows what’s going on. He knew about the engagement before Rhonda did. He told me about it. He’s a very smart man.” 

 

Simon looked at me like I was stupid and said, “Of course he’s smart, we all know that much about him. But I’d like to know why people tell him things that they would tell no others.” 

 

“I would tell him anything.” I admitted openly. 

 

“You would not.” Simon countered. 

 

“What do you mean? I would tell him anything.” I argued. 

 

“Then tell him you love him and get it over with. You never drink this much and you’re sitting here talking non-stop about Blair this and Blair that. You’re in love with the man, but you don’t tell him do you?” Simon asked me. 

 

“What if he moved because of what I say to him?” I wondered aloud. 

 

Simon sighed and said, “He’ll never leave you because when I’m with him, he talks non-stop about Jim this and Jim that. You two need to get together. So are you going to talk to him?” 

 

“I’ll call him right now and ask him if he could pick me up. I can’t drive, I don’t think.” I pulled out my cell and began to dial. 

 

“Sandburg.” He answered sweetly. He’s such a sweet man. 

 

“Hey Chief, do you think you can pick me up at Brad’s Bar? I’ve had a few too many and don’t think I should drive.” I figured that this would be a good way to get him to the bar. 

 

“Okay man, give me about ten minutes and I’ll be there. Try not to drink anymore because you’re going to have a major headache tomorrow. Stop now, all right?” Blair asked me. 

 

I smiled into the phone and wished he was standing right there, because I never wanted to kiss someone as bad as I did right then. Instead, I said, “Okay, I’ll drink a Coke.” 

 

“Good boy. I’ll be there soon, Jim.” And just like that he hung up the phone and I missed him already. Simon was right, I was a goner. 

 

Simon asked, “So is he coming or not?” 

 

“Yes, I asked him to pick me up and he said he’d be here in about ten minutes. Do you swear that he won’t leave me?” I was losing courage as the minutes ticked by. 

 

“Jim, he’s not going to leave you. The man is wild about you. But try not to scare him off tonight.” Simon advised. 

 

“What do you mean? Why would I scare him off?” I asked worriedly. 

 

“You’re pretty drunk, so don’t try to kiss him or anything, wait until tomorrow for that.” Simon loved giving orders. 

 

“I won’t kiss him tonight. I promise, because I don’t want to scare him off.” In fact, I won’t kiss him until he tells me too. How does that sound, Simon?” 

 

“That sounds just fine. Now here he is, so get ready to go.” Simon pushed me off my stool and I almost fell on the floor. It was the first time I had stood up for hours. I really had too much to drink. 

 

“Simon, will you tell him I’ll be right out. I have to piss.” I headed for the bathroom and waved drunkenly at my roommate and partner. He waved back wearing a big smile on his face. Oh yeah, I had it bad. Just looking at him was enough to drive me wild. 

 

I finished my business in the bathroom and washed my hands. It amazed me that even drunk; I remembered to wash my hands. I’m such a good Sentinel. I’ll have to be sure and tell Blair about that once I’m sober. 

 

I walked out and saw Blair talking to Simon, still wearing the big smile and this warmed my heart. 

 

“Hey Chief.” I’m a man of few words. 

 

“Hey Jim. You ready to go?” Blair grabbed my jacket and helped me get it on.

 

That was a chore in itself. I honestly thought one of my arms was missing at one point. But Blair helped me figure it out and we were ready to go. 

 

Simon shook my hand, and said, “Good luck, Ellison.” 

 

“Good luck with what, Simon?” 

 

He leaned into me and whispered, “The talk.” 

 

Oh yeah, the talk. Now I remembered. “Thanks, Simon. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” 

 

Blair put his hand on my back and guided me out to his car. I rarely ride in his car, so this was a little unusual for me. I decided to ask him something first. “Did you want to drive my truck home?” 

 

He smiled and answered, “Nah, I’d rather just drive my car. We’ll pick your truck up tomorrow sometime.” 

 

I got into the front seat and Blair helped me adjust the seat so there was enough room for my longer legs. He’s such a good guy, he thought of my legs as soon as I sat down and hit them on the dash board. He always thinks about me and how to make me more comfortable. He loves me, I think. Then again, I’m drunker than a skunk. How drunk does a skunk get and who would get close enough to give a skunk alcohol? These are things I think about daily. I’ve been hanging out with Blair too much, that’s for sure. 

 

Blair got into the driver’s seat and said, “Buckle up, Jim. “ 

 

He even says that cute. 

 

“So what’s going on, man? Why are you this drunk on a school night?” Blair teased. 

 

“We were just trying to relax. We can’t seem to catch a break in the Bannerman case and we started out discussing that first, then moved on to other things.” I explained. 

 

“What other things?” Blair inquired. 

 

“Simon told me I need to talk to you.” I started the conversation out. 

 

Blair looked over at me worriedly and asked, “Is it something about work?” 

 

I wanted to assure him quickly so I said, “Oh no, nothing about work. I just talk about you too much and Simon thinks it’s a problem.” 

 

Blair looked stunned and said, “You talk about me too much?” 

 

Why didn’t he seem to understand this? It was simple as pie to me. “Yes, he said that I need to talk to you about it.” 

 

“Okay, so talk to me about it.” Blair said softly. 

 

“Blair, do you know that everyone tells you everything? You don’t even have to work on it, and they spill their guts to you. Bad guys, good guys, hell even Simon does.” Now surely he would understand this, right? 

 

But no, the gods were not looking down on me favorably. “And this is a bad thing, Jim?” 

 

“No, it’s a good thing. You’re good at it. Everyone knows you’re good at it.” I tried to make him understand. 

 

“So what is the problem?” Blair asked me. 

 

“Blair, I never said there was a problem.” 

 

“Jim, you said that Simon wanted you to talk to me.” Blair sounded a little irritated. 

 

“Yes, Simon asked me to talk to you and I did. Now do you understand?” I asked wearing a big smile on my face. 

 

Blair looked over at me like he wanted to smack me and asked, “Jim, I don’t understand. What are you trying to tell me?” 

 

Sighing, I rubbed my hand across my face and realized this was going to be harder than I thought. Hell, maybe Blair didn’t know everything. “You knew all about Rhonda’s boyfriend before any of us.” 

 

“You know what, Jim? I think we should have this talk tomorrow, because you’re making no sense what-so-ever. Just lean back and go to sleep.” 

 

I did something wrong because now Blair was pissed off at me. He was supposed to be talking to me, not getting angry with me. I had to do something. “Chief, do you think I talk about you too much?” 

 

Blair finally smiled and said, “No more than I talk about you. We’re best friends. It’s expected.” 

 

“That’s what I told Simon, but he told me I had to talk to you. I knew you would understand.” Yes, Blair Sandburg was a smart man. I knew he would understand. 

 

“Jim, I don’t understand.” He snapped. 

 

“You don’t understand that we’re best friends, partners and talk too much about each other?” I asked. 

 

“I understand that part, but I don’t understand why Simon would have asked you to talk to me about it.” Blair was trying to be calm.

 

“He just thought I should get it out in the open, but I don’t need to now.” I leaned against the car window and closed my eyes. I was suddenly so tired. 

 

Blair raised his voice and said, “What in the hell are you talking about? You should get what out in the open? You didn’t tell me anything.” 

 

“Blair, I’m really tired, can I rest for a while?” I felt like I was sleep talking. I made a joke, I like that. I’ll have to tell Blair that even Sentinels have a sense of humor sometimes. 

 

Blair was riled by this time and said, “No, you’re not going to rest. What do we have to get out into the open? Tell me right now.” 

 

“About us.” I said. 

 

“About us? What us?” Blair asked. 

 

I smiled over at my silly partner and said, “Me and you. About me and you.” 

 

Blair pulled over to the side of the road and turned all of his attention on to me and asked, “What about us?” 

 

I ran my hand across his sweet face and touched him softly. He seemed surprised, I don’t know why. He knows about us. I leaned back against the door again and Blair said, “Jim, I asked, what about us?” 

 

“We’re fine, Chief. We’re just fine. Everything will be all right.” I said meaning every single word. 

 

Blair started driving again and began to mumble. “Damn stupid Sentinels, they don’t know how to tell people things and then they confuse their Guides.” 

 

“Blair, what are you mumbling about? I know how to tell you things. I just told you all about how I talk too much about you.” I’m beginning to wonder if I gave too much credit to Blair. He’s not running on all cylinders today. 

 

“Let me get this straight. Simon wanted you to talk to me because we talk about each other too much?” Blair guessed. 

 

I beamed with joy. He had it. “Exactly… I knew you understood. 

 

“So I take it you don’t talk too much about Brown, Rafe, Conner or Joel?” Blair asked. 

 

I looked at him as if he had just taken a stupid pill and answered, “Of course I don’t talk about them too much.” 

 

“So I take it, it’s because you like me.” Blair asked nervously. 

 

“That’s a given, Chief.” 

 

“So, I guess I could go one step further and ask if you love me.” Blair acted like he hoped he had this right. 

 

“Well of course I love you, I mean who wouldn’t love you?” I asked stupidly. 

 

“So everyone loves me?” Blair asked. 

 

“Of course everyone does. They’re wild about you, with good reason.” 

 

Blair sighed loudly and asked, “So is anyone in love with me?” 

 

I looked over at the stupid man that was in Blair’s body. Why was he asking this? Surely he knows that no one else would be in love with him, I would have to take care of them. 

 

“They know better than to be in love with you, Blair.” I answered the confused man. 

 

“Jim, just think on this a minute before you answer. Are you in love with me and do you want to make love to me?” Blair asked me nervously. 

 

“Why would you ask that after all we’ve talked about tonight?” I asked him. 

 

“So I would guess that’s a yes. Well Jim, I want to sleep with you too, so as soon as you’re sober, we’ll do that.” Blair was setting down rules and I didn’t like them. 

 

“I have to wait until tomorrow?” I have to admit, I whined a little when I asked it. Okay, I whined a lot.

 

“We aren’t sleeping together until you’re sober, Jim.” 

 

“Why didn’t you tell me that at the beginning of this talk?” I couldn’t help it, I was a little angry. 

 

“How about if I sleep with you tonight, but no sex?” Blair offered. 

 

“I can live with that, Blair. I like the idea of us sleeping together. Then tomorrow there will be sex, right?” I was whining again. 

 

“Yes, Jim, there will be sex tomorrow. I’ll call Simon in the morning and get you a day off.” 

 

“Hot damn, I can’t wait for tomorrow. So are you going to tell me now?” I asked him. 

 

Blair looked confused and said, “Tell you what now?” 

 

“That you love me. You haven’t said it yet.” I explained. 

 

“I love you, Jim. I’m in love with you and have been for years. So as soon as you wake up tomorrow, you wake me up.” Blair loved ordering me around. 

 

“You got it, Chief. I love you.” It felt so good to say those words. 

 

Blair parked in the lot and we walked up the stairs holding hands, which was nice too. I think with Blair, everything is going to feel good. I guess I’ll find out tomorrow. 

 

I’m glad Simon asked me to talk to him. 

 

The end. 


	2. Once When I Was Sober

Once When I Was Sober…

By Patt

There was a loud, loud clanging going on in my head and I had no idea what it was. I couldn’t seem to open my eyes either. The light was way too bright and the sounds of the loft were loud too. 

I could hear the coffee dripping into the pot, setting off my sense of smell. Drip, drip, drip and it never seemed to end. Normally, I love when Blair makes coffee for me in the morning, but I’m sicker than a dog. Where did that saying come from? How do I know if I’m sicker than a dog? We don’t even have a fucking dog. And if we did, would I actually compare my being sick to it being sick? 

Why is my head throbbing and why can’t I open my eyes? I feel horrible, I want to cry out for Blair’s help, but I know that will hurt my ears too. I need to turn my dials down, that’s what’s wrong. I turn down my sense of smell first, and the coffee actually smells good now. My stomach is no longer revolting. 

Next is my sight, I turn the dial down and was able to open my eyes. My clothes are all over the bedroom, what was I thinking? 

My hearing was next and I got it taken care of easily, so that I could hear Blair humming in the kitchen and it wasn’t hurting my head any longer. Before that, I wasn’t sure what that noise was. Now at least I know he’s humming. He sounds happy. That’s good. 

Touch seems to be down already, so I’m okay with that. All that leaves is my taste and it tastes terrible in my mouth. I turn down my taste and I can finally sit up without gagging. 

I take it I was drinking last night and someone told me to drink everything in sight. Why was I drinking? I’m a little fuzzy on that. Oh yeah, Simon asked me to go out for a relaxing drink after work. Blair was with Brown and Rafe working on a case, so I decided what the hell? But why did he let me get so fucking drunk? And did I drive home? Please remember if you drove home, you idiot. Oh yeah, I remember Blair coming to pick me up. That’s good; at least I wasn’t driving around town like this. 

I got hot and pulled the covers off and realized I was naked. I never sleep naked in the loft. Why was I naked? I looked around the room really fast and saw two sets of clothing on the floor. Including underwear. Someone was naked in my bed with me. Oh fuck… Oh god, I hope not… 

I can’t believe that Blair would let me bring home someone and let me sleep with them. What was he thinking? And where is the guy now? The guy? I slept with a guy while Blair was here? Oh shit… Wait a minute, nothing hurts, so maybe we were too drunk to do anything. Maybe Blair just took him home. 

But why would his clothing still be on the floor of my bedroom? That’s the big question. First thing I’m worried about is whether or not I fucked someone. Second thing I’m worried about is where they went to. And thirdly, will Blair ever forgive me? 

I’m pretty certain that I’ve always had feelings for Blair and I sure didn’t want to bring another guy home to the loft. If there was going to be any fucking, I wanted it to be with Blair. Damn him. Why did he let me bring someone home that I didn’t even know? 

I can hear Blair downstairs making breakfast. He’s probably feeling sorry for me, because this guy left. Wait a minute, why are his clothes still here? That question hasn’t been answered yet. That must mean, he’s still here. Oh fuck… Oh god, I hope not… 

Blair is singing a Madonna song right now and it’s making me insane. I love that song; it reminds me of him and myself. It’s called Push Me. I’ll just lie back and listen to him sing the song and wait for the asshole to get out of the bathroom. Jesus, I hope I knew who it was. Surely Blair wouldn’t have allowed me to bring home a complete stranger. 

I suddenly remember that I could check and see if I used anything last night because I have a brand new box of condoms and a brand new tube of lube. I open up the drawer and both are unopened. I looked down at my dick and whispered, “What have you been doing?” 

I started listening to Blair again and I heard him start the song again. 

You push me

To go the extra mile

You push me

When it's difficult to smile

You push me

A better version of myself

You push me

Only you and no one else

You push me

To see the other point of view

You push me

When there's nothing else to do

You push me

When I think I know it all

You push me

When I stumble and I fall

I got a little sappy with this last line and started to mist up. That’s me all over the place. Stumbling and falling. And there is Blair pushing me to go on.

Keep on pushing like nobody

Every race I win

Every mood I'm in

Everything I do

I owe it all to you

Every move I make

Every step I take

Everything I do

It's all because you push me

You push me

When I don't appreciate

You push me

Not to lie and not to hate

You push me

When I want it all to end

You push me

When I really need a friend

You push me

All I wanna do is cry

You push me

When it's hard for me to try

You push me

When I do it for myself

You push me

Only you and no one else

Keep on pushing like nobody

You push me

Keep on pushing like nobody

To go the extra mile

When it's difficult to smile

A better version of myself

Only you and only you and only you

To see the other point of view

When there's nothing else to do

When I think I know it all

Only you and only you and only you

I’m lying on the bed, on the verge of tears and wondering how I could be so lucky as to have this wonderful roommate. He’ll probably move now and that will be the end of that friendship. 

But why would he be singing and making breakfast? Is he making it for the jerk I might have slept with? Does Blair really feel like he needs to make me that happy? Oh who am I kidding? Blair wouldn’t make breakfast for anyone he didn’t want to, so it must be someone he knows. 

Who could it be? Oh man, don’t let it be Conner; I would never hear the end of it. Wait, those are men’s underwear, not women’s. So I’m safe, it’s not Conner. I know it’s not Rafe, Brown or Joel because I don’t feel anything for them other than friendship. That leaves Simon. 

I’m checking the underwear, and it’s not Simon’s size, that’s for sure. It’s someone smaller. I just need to get a little whiff of these shorts and I’ll be right as rain with my memory. 

Holy shit… They belong to Blair. Why would Blair be in my bed naked when I’m drunk? Oh Christ, did I take advantage of him? No, I wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t let me do that either. And he sure as hell wouldn’t be singing in the kitchen if I had abused him in any way. Why is he singing? Why is he so happy? I don’t think we had sex because nothing is missing and the bed doesn’t smell like sex. But it does smell like Blair. 

Jesus, I’m getting hard just thinking about this man. Did we have a good talk and then sleep together without sex? That makes no sense. Unless I was too drunk to get it up. Oh, like I need that to remember. Let me jar some of my brains loose in my head so I can remember what the hell I’m doing in bed naked. 

Okay, Blair picked me up at the bar because I was too drunk to drive. I remember that part. I remember him pushing his seat back to make more room for my legs. God, he’s a good man. He’s so damn thoughtful. 

Then I remember that we had a talk. I think he said he understood how I felt. God, why can’t I remember what I said to him? Maybe its better that I don’t. I’ve never been that great at talking to anyone. Blair’s the one that rocks when it comes to discussions. I wonder if he had to do most of the talking. 

Finally I can’t stand it any longer and I call down the stairs. “Chief, I need some help here.” 

Blair walked into my bedroom, naked as the day he was born, carrying a breakfast tray and smiling. He was happy. That song was for us. This breakfast is for us. He’s fucking happy. I didn’t screw it up. Yet… 

“Morning, Jim.” My wonderful partner said to me while almost glowing with delight. 

“Good morning to you, Chief. Would you like to explain to me why I don’t remember what happened last night?” I was ready to hold my breath until he told me everything was all right, but I didn’t have to worry. 

“Jim, breathe. Everything is fine. You wanted to have sex last night but we both agreed to wait until this morning. So that’s what we did.” Blair lay on the bed next to me and gave me a quick kiss. 

“So I didn’t piss you off or anything?” I asked, knowing that I usually did. 

“Well, you pushed me to the limits, but that was because you were drunk. You had a hard time telling me that you loved me. Do you remember telling me that?” Blair asked almost shyly this time. 

I smiled at him when I saw that and hugged him closer to me and said, “I do love you. I thought I had done something you would never forgive me for. So I was freaking out up here.” 

“What did you think you did?” Blair inquired. 

“Honestly, I thought I brought someone else home and they were in the bathroom. And I didn’t have safe sex because none of the condoms were used and I was having a nervous breakdown.“ I explained as well as I could, still holding on to him for dear life. 

“Nope, no one else in this bed but me and you, and you’re not going to change that either. And while I'm thinking about it, why didn't you just listen to see if there was another heartbeat?” Blair commanded and I fell in love with him all over again. 

He's so smart. "I didn't even think of it, honestly." 

I began to kiss Blair’s nipples and licked them over and over again. “Blair, would you be upset if I passed on breakfast and wanted to go straight to sex?” I looked down and saw that he was as hard as I was. 

“I think that would be a most excellent idea, Jim. I’m ready. I was ready last night, but I wanted you to be sure about it. Are you sure that you’re sure?” Blair was babbling. 

“Chief, are you nervous, because you’re babbling? I don’t ever want to make you nervous, only excited, happy, horny, hot and satisfied. But never nervous.” I kissed him to show him I meant business and he smiled at me. 

“So you really did love me all along?” Blair asked as he went to kiss me again. 

“I’ve loved you forever, Chief. I hate to say this, but I have to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth. I’ll be back in a flash.” I jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs. I’m lucky I didn’t fall and break my fucking neck. My cock was so hard; it was throwing me off balance somewhat. 

I calmed myself down in the bathroom, took a leak, and then washed up and brushed my teeth. Now, I could kiss him and not worry about a thing. Sentinels worry about scents. And mine was terrible. 

I hurried back up the stairs and found myself hard once again. Hell, all I had to do was think about him and I was in this shape. I jumped onto the bed and he laughed. It was a nice sound. He seemed less nervous now. 

Blair began to lick my neck and said, “I knew you would be wonderful once you were sober. You have no idea how hard it was sleeping with you last night and not doing anything about it.” 

I had an idea, but I didn’t share it because I was busy making my way down Blair’s body to give him a proper blow-job. 

Now that I was sober, I could love Blair the way he deserved to be and that’s exactly what I planned on doing. 

Life was indeed good. 

The end


End file.
